sex and nakedness

Maybe I'm getting this nudist thing all wrong. But I'm having trouble keeping nakedness and sex apart.

Quite some time ago, when I was in a short lived relationship with an easy going girl, I startedf having my reservations about walking around naked in the house. I don't think anybody could see us, it was summer and we did have sex the night before, so at the time it seemed not very out of place to be nudistic that morning. But as we walked around naked, I started wondering whether that was a good idea. See, just as many men I can get easily aroused by what I see of a woman, less than by what she says or even does. So having "the goods", so to speak, dangling right there in front of me, without the purpose of having sex, was confusing. And I wondered: wouldn't it be more fun to hide the erotic parts until we decided to actually have sex, so that I would again be aroused by what I saw, instead of being accustomed to seeing it without having sexual thoughts?

In its extreme, we enter the realm of islam: hide all there is to hide of a woman, unless you are the one to enjoy her to the full. I am not in favor of this. I think it's wonderfull how women can go around dressed to kill. I do get aroused and think of sex with them, but this doesn't mean I have to have it, or them. I like it when the woman I can have sex with, dresses like that. I know I am not alone in that. The entire lingery business is based on it being visually provocative. Not to mention most of the fashion industry. As a man you quickly learn that what you see is not always what you can get. For the majority of us, most of the time we know we can't get it. No worries.

Now have women parade naked in front of you. In that case it is the birthday suit that you learn to ignore as a sign of having sex. Whether at home or "in the wild", this registers with me. Naked does not mean sex. With the consequence that when my wife parades naked in front of me wanting to have sex, I am not aroused. I have grown accustomed to seeing her naked: getting in or outof the shower, dressing or undressing. This is a "normal" state of affairs. As it would be for naturists.

To counter this, I have asked my wife to not be so openly naked in front of me, so I can once again link seeing her naked to getting aroused. Now, however, I get startled when I see her in the buff. I have to assertain whether it is because she wants sex, or whether she's just been in the shower or whatever. And because this is unexpected, I don't know what to do. Usually I comment on her still being sexy - which she seems not to believe entirely - and when we are close to eachother I might fondle her a bit, but I can't get my mind set to having sex. For that she needs to be slightly dressed.

This for her might be a good thing. She can walk around naked without wondering whether I think this means she wants to have sex when she doesn't. On the other hand, it also means that her avances to have sex, will always fail when started when she is naked. Because my mind is set to: naked does not mean sex.

I wonder if nudists have the same problem. In my mind they must have. Even worse than I experience. That is one of the reasons I'm not fond of the idea of becoming a naturist, although I had no problems being on a naturist beach. It freed me of the hastle of changing outof wet swimming gear. But otherwise I still struggle with nakedness and how it relates to having sex.