The thrill of discovery

When I was in New Zealand, a guy from the Conservation Department told me about the "thrill of discovery" that tourists found so exhilarating. To make designated walks more appealing to tourists, they tried to incorporate this thrill by planting certain artefacts along the route, beside the path; far enough to be inconspicuous, close enough to be visible. I had found such artefacts several times and did find these discoveries exhilarating.

Why am I telling you this? Because one might expect from an autistic person not to be thrilled by things that fall beyond the expected. You'd expect maybe someone with an autistic disfunction to elaborately plan an activity, whether it be on holiday or every day, and be well prepared for anything he might encounter on, for example, a walk.

Nothing like that for me. I did plan a walk or two when I was there, but for the foremost part I just started the ones I came across and decided were interesting enough and doable within the time left for that day. Or at least I think I did. But I must admit having been greatly influenced and motivated by the heritage trails. So they weren't random walks, and they all served a specific tourist function.

Now on holiday in my home country, I find I do not prepare much for a walk. I do like to know where to go for one, use a map to find the start and finish, and dress the part. But I don't like to read up on everything I might encouter. Maybe it's because I don't want to spoil the surprise, the thrill of discovery. Which I experienced justthis afternoon. My wife and I came across something which looked like an empty school building. Empty buildings trigger the imagination. What was it used for? What could it be used for? What would we use it for if we ever had the chance to? It doesn't go beyong this fantisizing, but that is fun enough.

So how does this relate to autism? I'm not sure. Do you know?

Just going for a walk somewhere and later find out there were all sorts of things to see or discover, that I really hate. And on the whole I am not a fan of being surprised. Not so much because I hate to be surprised, but because I am afraid that the surprise is always less than what I would have organized myself; and I am not a very good organizer. People tend to take the easy way out, not go the distance when thinking of surprises for me. I expect a surprise to be better than what I would have done myself. I'm most always disappointed. So that is very much a question of what I expect. Maybe that's the same with those walks. I expect to be surprised, so do not want to know everything in advance. But I also want not to miss out on any surprise, so want to know when to look for one.

"Confused? You won't be after the next episode of...soap." (the exiting line of the American comedy series Soap, aired in the eighties)